I would be ashamed if other people heard how I talk to myself.
I wouldn’t talk to my best friend the way I talk to myself.
Do any of the above statements sound like you? If so, keep reading!
When I compare my life now to ten years ago, one of the major differences is the questions I ask myself. Any teacher I work with has always told me I’m too much of a thinker, I’m always in my own head and thoughts. Possibly an over thinker.
If like me, you are going to be in your own head, then it’s worth spending time thinking and practising what you’re going to talk about.
For me it was the difference between negative self talk and positive self talk.
This shift really helped grow myself confidence, make me more creative and ultimately was one of the tools I used every day at work which led to me increasing my salary. It’s easy to give someone like this a pay increase.
How to overcome negative self talk:
It doesn’t really matter what your negative self talk sounds like. Here’s a plan to find your self talk and transform it to positive self talk and, some examples below:
- Be aware of your negative self talk – ask yourself, do I talk badly to myself?
- Write down what you feel are the recurring negative sentences you say to yourself.
- Now think about those closest to you, do you have recurring negative thoughts about them? Make a list. Sometimes, what we think about ourselves, our team at work, we project onto family members and partners. Can you map recurring arguments with your spouse, your parents, to work issues?
- Take your time to go through the above and really trust your lists. Do you feel you capture the real negative self talk?
Transforming negative self talk to positive language:
From: Why me?
To: What would it take to change this situation?
From: I wish this was easier
To: How do I get stronger
From: I’m tired.
To: This will soon be over
From: Is this it?
To: What do I want for my future?
The outcome:
When you stop the negative self talk, there’s a lot less for our brains to do and our brains like to be busy. So, with this in mind, here are a few sentences after you learn the art of positive self talk.
Start creating new language to give your brain a little teaser. ‘Why me’ draws in the darkness but when I ask myself questions which start with ‘what would it take…’ I begin to plan before I can even stop myself. Shining a light on my dreams and my potential.
There’s something about these words which allows creativity to flow. They seem to open up a wealth of opportunity, helping to alleviate the current situation and starting to dream a new reality. Give yourself permission to brainstorm without prejudice. Nothing is a stupid idea, they are just ideas.
Leading on from that, what would be the next best step for this plan? Having great ideas can sometimes feel overwhelming or insurmountable. Help you brain to limit any confusion buy saying, what’s the next best step? What are three things I can do today to progress this plan?